I want that one back
11:47 p.m. on 2003-02-23
Ok, news flash and big let down tonight. I neither got to go to Marry's party nor did I get any juicy details about the big romp with Mr. 10inch. Seems Marry is sick and is going to have the bbq later, and my girl, has had second thoughts about doing the nasty with our tasty treat. Oh life can be so disapointing at times. If your new to this here site of mine, I would suggest you start at day one, and catch up so you can find out just what I am talking about. I only have 11 other days worth of stuff, so it will not take too long.
On other fronts I have been able to have two good nights of masturbation. I am telling you, it has been so intense that I am afraid I am going to wake the neighbors. God I am good.
When I read other people's diarys, it seems to me they have deep thoughts and meaning to them, where mine is just what I am thinking about most of the time. I don't think that I am simple minded or anything but I really don't sit around pondering man's existance, rather I ponder the lack of existance of any man in my life. Jessie is always ragging on me at work, about the absence of sex, love,and romance, that I seem to have. It bothers me that he is right. I do have a deep hole in my heart, that I need to fill. In saying that though, I am not going to allow just anyone to walk in and take that position. They are going to have to respect, love and enjoy me. I don't care if they are sexy as hell, I havn't come this far and gone through what I have to through it all away for a blow job.
On the health front, I completed another day, and I am really thinking about getting a personal trainer. I might interview a few in a week or so, and see just what they invision for me. Who knows maybe I will be super hot for pride week. (I doubt it but hey a boy can dream)
I had some new neighbors move in across the street from me. Two young guys, from my guess they were straight, but oh what a show they put on. Bastards caused me to take my nap late. They were lifting heavy sofas and such and just dripping in sweat. They had to remove their shirts, exposing all that hot man flesh. I almost had to put plastic down, so I wouldn't ruin the hard wood floors. There was no way I was going to nap with all of this going on. I never noticed how many times a guy can grab his crotch until I was watching these two. No they weren't doing it silly, it was me. I was so tempted to go across the street and offer to help them out, but I doubted they would have taken the kind of help I wanted to give. Hehehe, slut here!!! I am sure there will be many a day, I peer across the street.
I love living downtown. There are so many people like me. Gay I mean. Not only that, most of the straight people around here are so gay friendly. It's so not like the small hick towns I have lived in before. It is sad though, when you look out the window and see homeless people. I always want to go give them some food, or let them shower, but then I don't know if that would be wise.
Have you ever thought, if I could go back and relive one day, I would relive......and then you pick it out. I was just thinking about the time when I had this fine ass roommate. Oh my god he was sexy. Nice body, green eyes, dark hair and so on. He always wanted to sleep on a mat on my floor. Yes he had his own bed but he said he didn't like to be alone all night by himself. I thought it was odd, but hey, would you say no if a hot guy wanted to sleep in your room? I was so in the closet(I have only been out for a year and a half) then. Well, about a week went by, and he soon moved to my bed. I had a twin. My gaydar was buzzing full alert, but I couldn't make the first move. Many a night I would feel a hard on pressing against me. Of course being that close who wouldn't feel it. In the morning a couple of times when we would wake up, he would lean over and pretend he was going to kiss me. I would quickly turn my head. I don't know why. Every thing in me wanted to fall into that kiss. After a couple of times like that, I told him, next time you do that, I am going to not move and your going to be suprised. My chicken ass moved. Fuck I am an idiot. I know he was bi or maybe gay and I should of just done it. This is the first guy who ever broke my heart. I can't go into it right now, but someday, I will tell you how. Anyway, I want that day back. I want to not only not turn away, but I want to slide my hand under those covers and have fun. Oh if only.
Well, friends on a final note, I just want to say be kind to yourselves, because in the end, your all you really have.........Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07