Alvie's World

Higher than the birds
7:46 p.m. on 2003-10-21

Well, let�s see just where do I start on my most recent update? Has anyone ever been drugged? Well I think I was. Let me explain. It all went down Friday night. I was getting ready to go to Pancho�s birthday dinner/party and I was feeling good, and might I say looking cute too? Well, I was. Anyway, so there I was having dinner with everyone and watching the clock and thinking when in the hell are we going to make it to the club? Flash forward about oh, an hour and I am so fucked up I can�t even talk. I guess I should back this up and tell you all just what caused me to end up in that condition. Well, I am drinking a few beers at Pedro and Israel�s house waiting for the group to get going when someone comes up with this bright idea to smoke some pot. I, not wanting to be left out of anything trail behind the couple of guys whose idea it was. Next thing I know they are saying damn Alvie you are hitting that thing like a pro. Now remember, I think this is like my tenth time or so of ever smoking pot. Well so I take another and then stop. I swear not 5 minutes later, I am higher than the birds. My whole inside person or whatever you want to call it wants to leave my body and I feel like I am floating. I am like damn I am really fucked up. Then like my back feels really hot down my spine and my thoughts in my head are all jumbled up. I don�t know how long I was outside but it seemed to me like hours. I guess it was like 10 minutes. Then I am driving someone home. I don�t know why but I am driving a friend home who wanted to leave early. Inside I am thinking fuck me I can�t drive, watch those damn white lines and giggling out of control. Well, the next thing I know I am at the club and some guy is playing with my nipples and biting my lips. Don�t ask me what happened in between driving Juan home and getting to the club because I couldn�t tell ya. I have to be honest in saying this, the guy who was nipple playing around on me was cute and I have talked to him before, but I swear, I just couldn�t kiss back. Like I couldn�t even talk or anything. I know he was rubbing his hard on all over me and I could feel his thingy and all, and where ever he touched me it felt like fire. I mean I was burning, but the funny thing is I couldn�t get an erection for the life of me. I was like why doesn�t this guy see that I am fucked up. Well, thank god one of my friends saw me and hauled me back to a stool. I swear I have never ever in my life felt like that before. I don�t think I will ever smoke pot again. My friends say that it may have had something in it, who knows? Can I say that after writing this, I feel like a complete loser. I mean a teacher, who does this, what kind of person am I? I just want to have some fun before I get too old and can�t anymore. Is this wrong? Please tell me what you think.

Ummm, well, maybe I should say that I am almost back to 100 %. What does that mean Alvie you might ask? Well, that means I was able to take matters into my own hands three times already today. God, it feels good to be able to pull that off. I swear I was getting so worried that I was losing interest in myself. Besides my masturbatory habits, everything else seems to be going ok.

I ditched work today for the second day in a row, to go shopping at the Guess store. I just love Guess clothes so much. I think that if I spend any more money in that store, I should become part owner or something. I was so wore out by the time that Jesse and I went to lunch that I had to masturbate and take a quick nap before coming here to school to do work. I have a huge final and qualitative proposal due next week as well as a paper on some damn literature review, but here I sit writing in my diary. I think I might just sneak in one more day off and do some homework. Jesse is leaving for Washington tomorrow, so I will have a lot of free time and I hope I use it.

He and I are back to our old friendship ways, which is so good for me. He is just like me in some ways and it�s like whenever we get together, which is almost every day. We laugh and have so much fun, its like we have known each other forever. I must say his biggest down fall though is his jackass boyfriend Louie. Uhhh. Anyway, I so need to tell you about what I did Saturday night but I have to get going. It was so fun, I went to a house party and I was the only white person there. Latino boys everywhere. I will get into that next time. Until then let me leave you with this thought�..Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. Love ya all�..Alvie

the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07

before & after