Hide the blue dong
11:37 a.m. on 2003-04-21
Ok, so where am I going to start today? I haven�t even had any coffee this morning and I am so damn tired. Last night I ended back up at the club. I know, my ass is going way too much. But dang a guys got to have some fun. Speaking of which oh lord. So here are some of the things that went on yesterday. Not in order of course but none the less.
My whole play with my toy thing went bad. I gave it my best gay try, but I am going to have to just be happy with being a top. If your squeamish about sex talk, first you should never read my diary, but ok I warned you. So ok like I used a half a bottle of lube, watermelon flavored if you were wondering. I had myself a few beers had some guy on the computer jacking off for me and I had my legs up on the desk. I had all systems on go, but for the life of me I could not even get the head of this damn thing in. Is my ass too tight? What the fuck. I am not one to give up easily so I hung in there probing and prodding and even at one point I was saying sexy stuff to myself. I was like oh Alvie you sexy ass hottie, open up for me and let me in. No good, I could not even fool myself. Not even a friggin finger. I am a sexual looser. I think I am officially going to give up on the whole ass sex thing.
On other fronts I went out with Juan to dinner. We walked up to the spaghetti factory and let me tell you Juan is so cute. We are ordering and some cute busboy walks by, the first thing he does is tear into his backpack so he can get his glasses on. I guess he can�t see real well without them and god forbid a cute guy should go undetected. I think half of the dinner conversation was lost, due to Juan�s daydreaming about cute busboys/waiters. He is so funny.
After that we walk over to the Depot for a quick night drink before heading home. We go into the bar and Juan wants to make a round about the room to check out all of the local talent. I usually would have no problem with this, but I like to have a drink or two behind me first, so I can smile and make eye contact. I hate being all tense and stuff. So I was all tense and stuff making my round when I spotted the cutest guy just standing in the corner. He was a little older, but dear god, father time had done him a few favors, along with the local gym. I make my way to the bar and get myself a corona, and Juan a strawberry daiquiri. Big mistake there. We relax on a bench against the wall and are chit chatting when I notice now Juan is taking whip cream and spreading them on his lips is a sexual manner. Dear me, I tell him to stop before everyone thinks we are sluts from hell and he stops all right, just long enough to do things with the straw and whip cream together. He was making me laugh so hard. I am sure we were looked at like the slutty crazy duo in the corner. Who cares, it was fun and we left.
I have to tell you all this. You remember my friend Jesse. Well his boyfriend who hates me, Louie the bastard, has forbid Jesse from going anywhere with me. Not even to the mall, lunch or anywhere. Hell he is not even supposed to call me. If I ever had a boyfriend who was that jealous I don�t care if he was cute, there would be no way I would give up my freedom or friends. But anyway so Jesse and I have to sneak around to visit with one another. So last night while Louie was away at work, I stopped by Jesse�s house. Nothing wrong with that, just friends talking and stuff. Well Jesse did pull out his toy, its blue and waved it around. It was all in fun and in good context being me having troubles in that area. Well then so right in the middle of us just gossiping and talking the damn front door starts squeaking open. I swear this is so retarded because Jesse had his shirt off changing into this one that I had bought for him. We both thought the worst. I was like fuck me, Louie is going to come in here, Jesse has his shirt off and there is a blue 8 inch dong on the couch. Jesse is putting on the little tank and running to the door, and I am finding a pile of clothes and hiding the dong. I swear my heart was going a million miles an hour. I kept thinking ok Alvie, what is the reason you�re here. What are you going to say? Thank god it was one of Jess�s dogs. I got my magazines and movie that Jesse had loaned me and made a quick retreat. How stupid is it, that you have to sneak phone calls to your best friend, can�t even go to Macy�s big sale together, and non the less no lunch? I hate it. I told Jesse last night to get bigger balls and set some ground rules but I think the problem is, I became his friend after they were a couple. But who cares its all so retarded. I give up.
On my way home from Jesse�s Nancy calls and says she and the boys are headed to Faces and they want me to come. I think of a thousand reasons I can�t go, then she says my brother and his boyfriend want you to come and I start putting together what I am going to wear in my head. They are just too cute to pass up. I think its time for me to start wearing some sort of underwear. I wore loose fitting Tommy pants and while I was dancing with Nancy, I almost a few times, showed all of my goods to everyone. The pants were too baggy. Maybe a belt would have worked, but hell I was too busy downing some drinks at home and practicing a few of my moves to Janet Jackson. You know now that I think about it, my pants were sliding down here at the house. Maybe I was just too excited who knows but I won�t make that mistake again.
I show up at the club and damn it, the first person I run into is this guy who gave me his number last week. He is like why didn�t you call and blah blah blah. I say hold on I have to go pee. I go into the bathroom and formulate some lame excuse to use. I am so bad. I should just say look cute boy. I don�t want you for a boyfriend. Maybe a once in a while thing, but I am not sure about that either. But I don�t. I talk about writing term papers, grading tests and other stupid ass stuff. My computer has not been turned on this whole week, unless you�re talking about me jacking off to porn. So he makes me give him my number. Damn the luck. The club was fun, and Pedro, Nancy�s fine ass brother�s boyfriend was so flirty. I was behaving myself to the best of my abilities, but I giggled when his goofy ass put his foot on my dick. Silly boy, doesn�t he know that he is hot. He shouldn�t do those things to me. All in all it was a fun night, I ditched out early so I wouldn�t have to sleep with Paco. I guess I could always say no but everyone gets weak and horny so I didn�t want to take any chances of a change of heart. He is cute after all.
Dear god one of my girlfriends told me she slept with a one legged guy. I was like what the fuck, and she is like yes I did. I fell out. I am not laughing at the guy and his misfortune but just her. That crazy bitch gets tangled up in the craziest shit. She said there wasn�t even a nub or anything. She did say though he fucked like crazy and was wild. I was like ok you go, I guess. I still can�t quit laughing about it.
I guess I better end this, I bet no one is even reading all of it because its too long anyway.
On a final note my thought for you all today is : If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. Bye for now everyone, I love ya�..Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07