Whats this box for?
4:19 p.m. on 2003-05-01
Dear fuck, I had my first all out fist fight in my classroom today. Two boys decided that they hated each other and from the back of the room I heard a few fuck yous then all hell broke out. I jumped in the middle of it and broke it up, but yeah what a lovely day. Hey everybody its me Alvie, the guy who has no friggin life anymore. That is unless you call frozen Popsicles and late night porn a life.
Well, lets see, what has been going on in my little world. Absolutely nothing, unless you want to count my new discovery. Anyone who gets sick easily like me, skip this next rant. Ok, so in the teachers lounge at school we have unisex bathrooms. I have always went in peed and left. Today, for some reason that I could kick myself for, I glanced around the room and took notice of this little metal box that hangs on the wall by the toilet. I thought what in the world is this. Dear god, yes I opened it. Everyone, do you know what they put those boxes on the wall for? I didn�t, but I sure as the fuck do now. Shoot me, kill me, and please sanitize me, because when you lift up the lid, its for used feminine hygiene products. I swear I wanted to gag. Shouldn�t they label those fuckers with a warning? Ick.
So yesterday I am driving down town and I pass by the adult bookstore. You know, they shouldn�t call it a bookstore, because to be honest I have never seen a book in one of those stores. Dildos, magazines, movies, handcuffs, and other sex stuff, but there are no books to be had. They should tell the truth, call it what it is, sex store. Simple isn�t it? Anyway, so I am driving by and I swear my truck wants to turn in but I keep it from swerving in. I look in the parking lot and 4 young men are outside gathered around a tow truck who is hooking up to their car. How embarrassing would that be to have to call up the tow service and have them come out to get your car while your at the sex shop. I was laughing so damn hard. Not at their misfortune, but at the whole situation in general. This is on a busy street.
So in my last post I said I was going to hold out and not masturbate for a few days to try to have a wet dream, something that I have always wanted by the way. Well, I made it for about 20 minutes and then gave in. I did have a sex dream last night, but I am embarrassed to tell you all, it was that I caught someone doing a horse. All I can remember is someone was doing a horse and I was watching them and thinking they were nuts. What does that say about me? I swear I have never had sex with a barnyard animal and do not plan on it anytime in the future. What in the hell? I guess I should stay off Internet porn.
Oh lord I hate to admit this, but I have started going to one of those fake tanning places. You know where you lay in a bed that has lights on it and looks like a space tube. Well, ok so I have purchased a pair of short boxer briefs to tan in, because I don�t want to burn my goodies if you know what I mean. I hate the feel of wearing them, but I do it and as soon as my session is over I put them in my bag and then when I get into the truck I put them in the glove box so I will have them next time. So yesterday, I am at the shop having my air fan motor replaced or what ever they call that thing and the guy opens my glove box and there in all their glory are my undies. He just looked at me and I wanted to crawl under the truck. I know Ronald thought I was some sort of perv who did kinky shit in my truck. His look told me so. He just gave me a nod and a smile and I took the briefs and put them into my backpack, and went to the waiting room.
My friend Nancy wants me to have a party here next week, but to be honest I don�t think I will. I don�t like to be responsible for people being entertained and besides that, I don�t want to clean up everyones mess. I got my haircut three days ago from one of those chain places that guarantees a perfect cut every time. If I wasn�t such a pussy I would demand my 16 dollars back plus 5 for a tip. This bitch must have thought I was a maxi pad or something because she gave me wings. Really I got home and thought what are these? She left two big spots on each side of my head. I told her short and spiky, and never mentioned anything about wings. I took out the scissors and finished the job myself. I can never get a good haircut.
So I called my sister and told her that I needed a wax. Just a spot here and there, and the bitch says I have to come down to the shop and have it done. There is no way I am going to drag my ass down there, when her beauty school has hot guys there working, and get some private areas that I don�t want people to know about non the less see. She is like, oh just come on and I am like your friggin crazy. Maybe I will just climb back into the shower with the razor again.
On a final note I leave you with this: The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf.
Take care and just know that you are loved�..Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07