playing space invader
12:44 a.m. on 2003-04-19
Hey everybody its me just sitting here wondering what I will say. First off let me just tell you the worst thing happened today. I had a friend well I guess I thought it was a friend, steal from me. How sad am I? I saw with my own eyes this person take money, it wasn�t much, but that�s not the point. You all know me by now. I would have been more than happy to loan, or just give my friend the money, but that�s in the past. Now I have no respect for this person any more. It�s just sad.
On other fronts tonight I am going to be playing space invader again. The space that I am going to invade is my virgin ass. I am going to whip out that toy and give it one last try. I got some tips from my friend Jesse, and I plan to put them to use. I am so scared but at the same time kind of excited. I doubt if I will watch porn during my little escapade, but I sure as hell am going to have a stiff drink. Should I take bets on whether or not I make it? Gosh just thinking about it right now, I am having second thoughts again. In some ways, it�s kind of like important to me, but in other ways who gives a rat�s ass? You know what I mean? Oh hell I am just going to do it.
I graduated from Humboldt State University last August, and for part of my training I had to teach adult education to foreign students. My class was a group of Japanese students who ranged from the ages of 18-24. I became a good friend with one guy, his name was Niko. He was so cute, I swear I had the hugest crush on him. Any way he and I have kept in contact through emails for the last year and I just got an email from him telling me he is coming back to California and staying with me for a week. I am so excited but at the same time I don�t think he knows I am gay. There is a big language barrier between us and I don�t think I could make him understand. I guess that�s where the alcohol will come in. Just joking, but anyway I can�t wait for his visit.
Do you know what a buss boy asked me tonight? He came straight out and asked me if he could fuck me just once. He was like your ass is mine. I was stunned and told him hell no and started laughing and walked away. How crazy is that? Doesn�t the fucker know he is supposed to take me to dinner first? What�s he thinking, that I am that cheep?
Its official, I am really gay now. I bought my first Cher cd. I have been listening to it off and on for a couple of days, and have mixed in my Christina cd with it. My sister says that Cher is like really gay, so hey I am really gay. Oh yeah and so I am standing in line at Albertsons two days ago in shorts and flip flops buying some fat free hazel nut creamer for my morning coffee, when I look down and notice, fuck me, I have one leg shaved and one not. I was hoping no one would notice, but my laughter probably drew in more stares than my legs. How retarded am I? I have kept up on keeping the one leg smooth, but to tell you the truth, I didn�t have the energy or gumption to do the other leg. It�s lots of work and boring as hell. Well, today after thinking it over I took to shaving that second leg, and now I have two clean-shaven legs. I am not going to do it again, but I figure maybe that it will make tanning easier. My legs are so white right now. Someone said in my guest book that I live an interesting life. I was like interesting? Anyone who debates with themselves on shaving legs is not interesting.
Speaking of the guest book, some one wrote this to me :� ur so damn gross...pervertic gay..� At first when I read it I was sad and angry. Then I got to thinking I shouldn�t let it bother me. I have 270 people who were kind enough to write me nice things and made me feel good about being me, and only 2 of those were negative, so I guess I should just get over it. I guess I have said myself that I am a pervert and yes I am gay. Its just the gross part. I am not gross at all.
So while masturbating today, the strangest thing happened to me. Right before I was ready to you know release the boys so to speak, my nipples started tingling like hell. I swear they were swollen up bigger than I have ever seen them. I was like what the fuck? So I reached up with my spare hand and gave them a little tug and I swear I thought I had been electrocuted. My whole body was twitching and to say that I had a great orgasm is an understatement. It was wild. I have never had that happen before. I only hope it happens again. Hey I was just thinking, maybe I am gross, who else would talk about such things like this? Lord save me now.
On a final thought reminds me of my last night at the club: Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. Take care and do something crazy sexy and fun today�..Love Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07