Is this Alvie talking?
1:55 p.m. on 2003-03-27
Well, I guess it�s time for another update on my not so exciting life. Actually that is so not how I feel today. First, let me start off with saying that I took the day off, and my excuse was to get laundry done. I had it done in an hour and a half, so I went to the park for a little jog. I put on some old sweats and a shirt, lace up my shoes and grab a water bottle. As I am walking towards the park, I notice what a beautiful day it is here in Sacramento. I would guess around 75 degrees. All the flowers are blooming and I can smell their sweet scent. I am loving today.
So I reach the park, and my heart sinks. Seems I have picked the time to come when only pretty people run. Damn the park was filled with hotties, who might I add look like they just stepped out of an ad. They had their hair all spiked up and slicked back, me I had my baseball cap on backwards to hide my hair which was having a free for all day. Their damn shoes even matched their outfits, and unlike me, the running gear they were wearing must have cost a small fortune. So I start my little jog, and the first thing I notice is that I am running in the opposite direction from everyone else. They are all running clockwise and I, counter clockwise. Do I turn around before anyone notices? If I keep going this way, I am going to have to pass every single person on the mile track and be face to face with them. I figure fuck it, just about the time this hot guy comes around the corner near me. My god he was sexy as hell. Trying to look so cool, I forgot to keep my eyes on the track, and got my foot lodged in a bike tire track left over from the last rain. I almost went down. I did one of those half falls but caught myself just in time. Just in time to see the blond guy looking at me. I just started laughing my ass off, with my goofy laugh and kept going. Something inside of me clicked. I don�t know what or how, but I started thinking, you know Alvie, this is how you live your life. You never seem to go with the flow, and while you�re not ugly at all, you�re not one of those model like looking people either. But you know what, who cares. I have fun, I like myself and I love life. I enjoy people and the simple things. I got a big ass grin on my face and I stepped up my pace and took pride in my sweats that were too short for me. I passed every person on the track with a big smile, and I swear to you I felt so good for just being me. I am far from perfect, way far, but I am a good person.
That brings me to this little story. Yesterday, I was teaching that fifth grade class. Well about two hours into my day, this young kid named Leo was giving me hell. I never yell or raise my voice in a classroom, so sometimes kids mistake this for me being easy. I was going about my teaching of dividing fractions and set the kids off for independent practice. Leo was talking and didn�t have his book out. I asked him to get on task, and to try to be quiet. He wouldn�t get his book out, he said he was finished with his work. I was like, ok let me see it. He shows me this paper, and I swear he just wrote numbers on this paper, and none of them were even fractions. I told him that he needed to start on his work. I went around helping other students and he just kept talking loudly on and on I so I finally said Leo your last warning next time your going to miss 5 minutes of your recess. He said So. So I wrote his name on the board and he said I don�t care. Now mind you all the kids are watching. If I let Leo get away with this, others are going to see me as someone who they don�t have to listen to. You don�t want 34 5th graders running over you trust me. So I said Leo you last warning quit talking back, get out you book and work. Hell at this point I was praying he would get his damn book out and just be quiet. I hate having to be like this. He said no, I am not going to do it. I said fine, when recess starts, you and I will call your mother and get this problem fixed. He replies Who cares. So fifteen minutes later its recess and I tell Leo to come with me. He says in a quiet voice now, please Mr. Lewis, don�t call my mom. I said Leo I have to you have left me no choice. He won�t get out of his damn chair. He puts his head down and I say Leo come on. All the kids are watching us now. Damn. So, next thing I notice he is crying, with his head down. My heart sinks. I never meant for that to happen. Still, I have to teach. I just want to get Leo out of the class and talk to him, and at this point I know I will not call his house. I lean down and whisper in his ear, Leo please trust me, just get up and follow me and everything will be fine. So he does. We get outside and away from everyone else and he is wiping his eyes and I tell him please look at me. He looks up and I tell him, Leo, I am not going to call your mom. I ask him, why did you do that to me in there? No answer. I tell him, if I allowed all 34 students to do that to me, I would not be able to teach. He looks down. Thank god, because by this time, my gay ass is crying a bit. I cry whenever someone else does. I hate it but it happens. God my heart was all torn up. I tell him he is one of my favorite students in the class and I ask him if he can promise me that this will never happen again. He says yes. I say look at me. He does. I said Leo I really like you, I just didn�t like that behavior in there, your still one of my favorites. God my gay ass is crying right now, just writing this. Uhh I am hopeless. He smiles a huge smile and I want to hug him, but I can�t. Damn school rules. I tell him I believe him as I hand him a handful of candy and tell him to go have fun at recess. You know what, the rest of the day he was perfect.
Sorry if this was a boring entry today, no sex talk, no griping, I am just feeling good and that is all I had to say.
On a final note : The best advice I can give is to ignore advice. Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others.
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07