an end to a 7 day run
2:24 a.m. on 2003-07-02
Hey everyone, it�s me once again coming into your life for a few minutes. Can I just tell you all that I have been so happy as of late. Why you ask, well because I have been talking to the world�s sweetest guy online for the past two days. I can�t get enough. I think I am really taken by this guy. He is so smart and sweet and cute too. The one thing though is that he lives in Texas and I live in California. I have decided to do something that I was not really comfortable doing. I am going to put some pictures of me up on my site. I have been getting requests from people asking me questions about what I look like and so forth, so I just decided that I would take a big leap and do it.
I know that its going to seem weird looking at me when each and everyone of you has their own mental image of Alvie. Then you see me and you think hey that�s not Alvie. I do it every time I read a book then go and watch the movie. The character�s just never measure up to what I have envisioned in my brain. So all I ask is be kind, please. I have a very hard time with rejection so be nice or just don�t say anything at all. I hope to have the pictures up tomorrow. I am going to have them put on one of those disk things, then from there I guess I will try to figure out what to do. I am so computer dumb, hell I might never figure it out. If anyone has any clue how to do it fill me in please.
On other fronts I ended a 7-day dry spell. I refrained from masturbation for that long. It wasn�t easy I tell you. Why I did it, I don�t know. But last night after getting all worked up over a certain someone I thought there is no way I am going to get any sleep with this thing looking straight up at me. My god, I slept like a baby.
Let�s see what else do I want to say? Oh I haven�t told you that I am moving. I hate the thought of packing and leaving my downtown apartment, but my two friends Shannon and Angie asked me if I wanted to go in with them and rent a house, and I thought what the hell. A yard and two dikes to boss around, I am game. Plus my rent will be reduced by half which means there might be hope of me getting my car for Christmas. I have wanted to get a new car ever since I paid off my truck a year ago. I have a red Toyota four wheel drive truck, and I want a car. My goal was to get a Mustang convertible, but now I have my mind set on a Mercedes. I know you�re like Alvie your out of your tree, where the hell are you going to get that kind of money? Don�t ask me. I figure if I only have to pay 500.00 for rent and I teach full time this year and go to work at least four times a week I can do it. I told my mother my plan and she is like if its what you want and you work for it, you should get one. I am like ok. God forbid I should save my money.
About a week and a half ago I think its been, I woke up from a dream and I was all weirded out. I had my first dream of being done. By being done, I mean that someone was having anal sex with me. Usually I, in my dreams am the doer. Never have I had a dream where I was getting done. The part that had me all flustered was that is was my friend Jesse doing me. Its like I am all into it, and I look back and its Jesse staring at me. I was like what in the hell. Then next thing I know he is saying see Alvie it�s not that tight. He then puts two fingers into me. We both start laughing and I sit up in the bed quick wondering what in the fuck was I dreaming about. I couldn�t go back to sleep. I just kept thinking what does all of this mean? Does it mean anything? So while Jesse, Louie and I are having breakfast at some caf� in San Francisco this past weekend I wait until Louie is in the restroom and tell Jesse. He is like What? I say I know and I swear him to secrecy, making him pinky swear to me that he won�t tell Louie. Oh my god Louie would have a heart attack. He would swear it was my secret plot to have Jesse do me. He is just now starting to trust me and then I have this dream. Do I just ramble on and on about nothing all the time, dear god shut me up!
Well everyone its like 2am and I am so sleepy, I must get going and don�t forget be kind to me.
On a final note: The key to change . . . is to let go of fear.
Loving you more and more��Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07