fag town
1:13 p.m. on 2003-03-21
Well, let's try this again. Last night I was so angry. I stayed up till 330 am doing homework, then updated my diary and the whole thing somehow vanished. I wanted to fuck up this computer so bad. Anyway Helloooo everyone. I was just glad to get the last entry off the front page because lord knows everyone must be tired of looking at my sexcapeds. Not me though. To tell you the truth, I read it a couple of times just to relive the moment. Its passed though, but damn, what fun. This whole week has been kind of crazy for me, I don't know if its the sex that has thrown me off or what.
Well, yesterday Jessie and his boyfriend come over to my place to pick up a laptop that I gave him. On the way over they got into an argument because as Jessie's boyfriend says "I live in the middle of fag town." I do live in midtown Sacramento and yes there are lots of gay people, but so what. He is gay, oh excuse me bi, so what should it matter to him anyway. I guess Jesse tried to put him in his place and they had a few words. Needless to say, when they arrived at my place, Louie was a bit bitter. I don't think he said but two words to me. I had to give them a grand tour, because we had to pretend that Jesse had never been to my place before. I think part of Louie's whole not wanting to be associated with gays comes from his family or something. He is afraid people will look down on him. I was there. I felt the same way, that is why I am working extra hard to try to win his friendship. I have yet to meet anyone that I couldn't get along with, so we will see. Louie thinks that gay people are slutty and can't commit to anyone. But isn't he the one who had a threesome with his boyfriend? Who knows all I do know is that my image in Louies' mind wasn't boosted with Jesse pipes in yesterday, So Alvie can you remember the guys name you slept with on Sunday? I turned red as a beet. Doesn't that sound so bad. I bet Louie was thinking I was a slut.
Well, on other fronts my lip is still fucked up. You can't tell from looking at me, but inside I have this cut that hurts like hell, but is slowly healing. I didn't want to say anything about it before for fear of further embarassment, but when I was taking off Mr. N's pants, I tried this use the teeth/mouth thing and he bucked up and the zipper got me in the lip. I guess that's what I get for trying to be so sexy. I am a dork. Well, when I washed my sheets from the night of lust, inside of the sheets I found a shirt. I wonder if I should wear it to the club tonight? How funny would that be? I am going out tonight with my friends that drove up from Humboldt. We are going to get our groovy grove on, and I will be on the lookout for hot guys. I am just going to look tonight. No tasting allowed. I just pray that the stalker is not there. I want to have fun. Maybe I will just sit outside on the patio and watch people. I am so much of a people watcher. Have you ever seen what some of the guys will wear to the club. Its crazy, but hey they have fun with it so who cares.
Jesse wants to be a gogo boy. Sometimes at work he will dance his cute little ass to a song. I think he will be a good one, but I don't want him going off in that direction. I want him to go off to college and just have fun. He is so cute, and so nice, I just feel at times that his boyfriend pulls him down. There I go again, always butting in. I just want the best for him.
So I know this update will bore the hell out of you all and I am sorry, but I have been under so much stress lately. I am so far behind in my homework, that I actually woke up having a panic attack. I thought I was going crazy. My lips were numb, my feet and hands were sweaty, my arms were tingly and my heart was going so fast. I know its all linked to the stress of school, and how much I fuck off. I am working on it. I always get what I am searching for or want, but my god it takes me twice as long as any normal person. I set up my own road blocks. I don't know why but I do. Who can I blame?
Well, anyway take care and I will update on tonights queer outing, I just hope I can keep my slutty ass out of the alley. (so joking)
On a final note this saying is so how I feel: Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Take care of yourself and each other, love ya....Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07