from the ass crack
6:49 a.m. on 2003-03-13
Ok, now where do I begin? Well, I got some bad news yesterday. Remember a couple of days back I described my dick as a happy medium. (more medium than happy) Well I was talking to Juan, and he tells me that anything fewer than 7 inches is small. Guess I just dropped into the small category. I was like, Juan, then what is the medium? He proceeds to tell me that there is no such category. I totally disagree. But being the inventive person that I am, I got myself placed into his large category. I started measuring my dick, from my ass. Who says you have to measure it from the base of your dick anyway? Hell when most of us measure, and don�t tell me I am the only one who has, we have the ruler jammed in our pelvic bone anyway, trying to get that extra little bit in there. Isn�t it stupid anyway? It�s like what you�re born with, you have no control over the size, but yet everyone makes such a deal of it. Not me anymore, but that�s because now I have a 14 incher with my new measuring technique.
How do you all like this new layout I got going on here? So damn fancy. I got an email from a very nice person, by the name of Windy, and she made it for me. How sweet is that? Windy, if you�re ever in Sacramento I owe you dinner. I really am retarded when it comes to computers, about the only thing I know how to do, is surf for porn, or steal ideas when I write school papers.
Let�s see. I took the day off again, to finish that homework, but I didn�t get to it yet. I plan on doing it on Saturday. I am just in a lazy ass mood today. I couldn�t even muster up enough gumption to go shopping. I wanted to go, but I figured if I went it would throw my nap schedule off. I am going to quit napping. I think that I make myself more tired by napping. And god help me if I masturbate before a nap. I really sleep too long then. I know you all have heard this like 12 times already, but tomorrow is my big day to start my exercise program.
You know what I have been thinking of lately. Camping. I think that I want to go camping. I know this doesn�t sound like a gay guy talking here, but I love the outdoors. And to top it all off, I want some tent sex. I often find myself, when masturbating thinking of being in the outdoors, in a tent, sleeping bags all strewn about, and the two of us going at it. I think that would be so fun. Lying out under the stars, just me and my lover talking about dreams and hopes. I need some beer. I haven�t drank anything for such a long time, I am sure my body is in some type of shock. I am getting too sappy and romantic, but a guy can dream can�t he?
You know I have been missing not living by the ocean any more. I lived just two blocks from the beach when I went to Humboldt State. Oh yeah and another thing I miss is my trips back to my truck. Well, when I was in school the campus was so hilly and big, seemed like there were trails everywhere. To get to another class or back to your car, could be quite a hike. Well, I found a shortcut one-day. I had to cut through the guy�s locker room. It really was a shortcut but I swear that sometimes it added 10 extra minutes to my hike. When the basketball players or the swimming teams were showering or changing I always had to stop at the soda machine which was in there, or wash my hands, use the restroom or whatever. Yummmy ! I think that we had the hottest basketball team ever. I don�t know if they played well, but I can tell you they knew how to shower. The hike always seemed easier after a trip through there. I guess its because I was hopping on three legs. God I am a whore.
You know when I was applying for my job as a server, my boss Rene was interviewing me. She seemed so friendly and all. After she decides to hire my ass, she says to me, so are you family? I say no that I have no family working here. She looks at me a bit odd and repeats the same line. I am thinking great, she thinks I have family working here and now she is not going to hire me. Does she think I am lying? I again, say no, I do have a family member working for the same company, but he lives in a different town. She says oh well and walks away. I am still completing my paperwork when it hits me. Oh stupid ass I say to myself, I think �family� means are you gay too? I am like oh fuck, so I get up and go into the kitchen and I say Oh Rene, yeah I know what you mean now, and yes, I am �family�. She says I thought so. How cool is that? Part of my interview and a question about being gay comes up. Rene is bisexual and beautiful. She told me that there were lots of gay people working there and that I would like working with them. I found it so easy to out myself there. I have always felt relaxed about my sexuality at the restaurant. Now when I teach school, I see a lot of hot gay schoolteachers in the teacher�s room, but its so hush hush.
Well, I guess I better get going, I am going to have Cesar salad and mash potatoes tonight for dinner. Odd combo, but its one of my favorites.
As a final thought, I read this and thought I should send it to my mom: The bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 to heterosexuals. That doesn�t mean god doesn�t love heterosexuals. It just means that they need more supervision. Take care. Love ya��Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07