Too Fem?
11:59 p.m. on 2003-03-09
What kind of person would listen in while two people were having sex? Me. That's right, I have hit an all time low, again. My new neighbors upstairs, were either praying, or having sex. There were so many cries to God, that I wasn't quite sure. You say, well if they are loud enough to hear, then its not your fault Alvie. I agree, but to hear better I had to turn off my fan, crack the window and stand on my bed. Is this an invasion of their privacy? Oh well, no one was harmed and I learned my new neighbors name anyway. (no I am not living under god) I think its paul. Or rather Oh paul.
Well, it's been a couple of days since I updated, and I guess I will start where I left off. The porn cd. Well, it wasn't that great. I had to watch three different couples doing it before I found one that turned me on. I think I am losing my intrest in porn. This is going to sound so retarded, but you know what I like better than seeing the hot guys go at it? The kissing . Two hot guys kissing and touching really gets me going. Just a year or so back, I past right by those little scenes. I wanted to see dick and I wanted to see it now. Not any more. What's that saying about me? Am I becoming less gay or more gay? Who knows. One more question about gay porn. What's up with the ass slapping? Does anyone out there really enjoy this? All the sudden out of the clear blue, whap, whap. I am like ok, I know I am not the most experinced, but is that really helping anything. It would piss me off. I would think what am I not doing it right or something. Anyone feel free to help me with this. Anyway, something funny did happen. They sent me the same dvd twice. Now I have an extra copy. I was thinking if anyone reads this and wants to have it I will send it to them. Just email me at [email protected] and let me know. If more than one person wants it, I will put names in a hat and choose one.
Well remember all of that homework I was going to get done. Hell, I took a whole week off of work to get it done, its not even touched. One of the pieces was my midterm. The deadline is tomorrow and this moring I am like freaking out. What in the fuck did I wait so long for? Am I an idiot or what? So I am thinking ok, who in my family do I want to kill off? See I was thinking of faking a death in the family, to postpone the work. I know I am sick, but I am desperate. I was thinking I could use a family member who has already passed, but something got a hold of me. I dialed my professors home number and she answers and I tell her the truth. After I said it I ask is there anyway you can give me another day or so, and I promise to get it done, blah blah blah. She says to me, Alvie, I care about you as a person first, a student second. You take another week or so and get it done, but promise me you won't tell the other students. God I love her. So I now have another week to put this off. I am going to take Wednesday off and do it. I swear, I am going to the library downtown and I am staying until its done.
Well, today at work I was so pissed off. Well, not pissed off, but I had my feelings hurt. Remember back I said that my friend Jesse's boyfriend didn't like me. I ask Jessee about it and he says this. He said that his boyfriend says I act to fem and I don't look the part so I shouldn't be like that. That's what he doesn't like about me. I am like thinking first, I don't think I act that fem, ok maybe sometimes when I am at work and around "The gay boys" I can be a tad bit more than in my daily life. Is that really a reason though to not like someone. I have only ever in my life met Louie like four times. I have said hi everytime, and that is the only time I have every spoken to him. I don't think I was waving a pink flag and wearing a feather boa or anything, so I don't know where he get's the whole fem thing. And to top it all off, why am I so upset about it in the first place? Who gives a fuck what he thinks? I guess I do, if I am thinking about it, which makes me more mad at myself. Fuck me. Next time he comes in should I not smile and say hi? Just grunt, grab my cock and say something like what the fuck do you want? Should I tease him for his little dick, which is crooked, and tell him that I hear he cums way too quickly? No, cause I am not a bitch like that. Really, I never would hurt his feelings like that at all. I swear. I would rather hurt my own, than to even embarrass or hurt anyone elses. I am too kind for my own good sometimes. And what does it get me? Nothing but grief. You know I feel like I just want to say to him you stupid fuck, don't you realize that you can have one of the best friends you will ever have in your life if you would just give me half a chance? His loss I guess, but I need to quit thinking about it and move on.
Next topic, so Juan and I are eating lunch and looking at the local boys, when he tells me that he has had anal sex with one of our dishwashers. I am like good lord boy dish the details. So get this, Juan says that he and Mr. X have done it a few times, Mr. X is not circumcised, and that they did it in a laundry room standing up. This is the part that gets me, He says that they used no lube. What? No lube, yes you heard right. I am like floored when he tells me this, I probably looked shocked while shoving chips and salsa in the whole time. This moring when I went to work I looked at Mr. X in a whole new light. It made him look even better.
I drove Mr. 10 incher home today after work. Its really warm here in Sacramento right now. I think it was around 75 or so. On the way home he takes off his shirt and shows off his nice six pack. I nearly hit a buss, or a building, I am not sure which, I couldn't keep my eyes off the sight next to me. He tells me to not get too excited and laughs. He is loving fucking with me. I think he is turning out to be a real good friend. Fuck, he is so damn sexy, I wished he lived above me. I would drill a hole in the ceiling.
Have you seen my boyfriend? I think he must be lost or something. The fucker must be wondering around your neighborhood. Can you please direct him back to downtown Sacramento. Its quite apparent that I can't find him. I am thinking more and more of those damn personal things, like on aol. I am going to hold out through this summer, then I am going to give in.
Odds and ends part: I am obsessive about certain things. I love shoes, watches and colognes. I have over 30 pairs of shoes, (more boxed away) about 15 watches and exactly 34 bottles of cologne. Every time I go to Macys, I have to try a new one. Weird? Maybe. I love diet pepsi, and I don't drink enough water. I have at anytime about 10 bottles of shampoos and conditioners in my shower. I like variety. I cry at sad movies, and yellow and orange are my favorite colors.
On a final note I thought this was so true when I read it.....People are very open-minded about new things--as long as they're exactly like the old ones. .....take care Love ya.....Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07