one tooth grin
11:17 p.m. on 2003-02-26
Well, the dinner thing with my sisters went well. I cooked, they ate, my sister tempted me with a lemon cream pie she brought, I gave in. I only ate one piece though so I don't feel too bad about it. My sore throat is going away, so I am having the usual, a corona light. (Usual being more than two days for me) Well, today I was making my bed, enjoying yet another day off, god I am going to be so poor next month, and I got to thinking.
I think everyone has someone in their family that they are ashamed of. Well, maybe not ashamed of, but for damn sure embarrassed about. Mine is a step-sister.(My step dad's daughter, no blood here folks.) Anyway, since I doubt she could read this if she were to ever turn a computer on, I will say here name, its Shelly. Ok, so I am at work a few weeks ago, no mind you all I have two jobs, the substituting teacher job, and the waiter job. I am talking right now about the waiter job. So a couple of weeks back I am in the back station waiting on my tables, and I am looking for any excuse to go up front. You see, this was Jessie's first week and work, and I was still trying to get to know him. He was up front. So I am two hours into my shift on Sunday morning and I go up front for something. I have my eyes trained on Jessie's backside, when I hear, "Oh my god, its my baby brother." I look up at the counter and you guessed it, there sat my step-sister smiling that grin that shows she is missing a front tooth. I must say, her hair looked better than normal, it only looked like one bottle of crisco was dummped on it. She had tats covering both of her arms, and to my horror, had both of her shoes sitting on the counter, where people eat their food. The blond girl sitting next to here said oh great, now the food will be free. I was like so in shock, I just wanted to die. Let me back track just a little so you know the situation. My stepsister, (did I mention no blood relation?) is what you would call homeless. Not because of anyone but herself. Many times people have tried over and over to help her out, but she just choses this, as well as her drugs. And worst yet she will steal you blind. I was like how in the fuck did she find me? I looked around to see how many of my co-workers were watching, and luckily none yet. I thought I have got to get her out of here. I walk up to the counter for my greasy hug, and say oh, what are you doing here. As she continued to lace up her shoes, she said oh, me and my friend, just got released out of jail this morning. She says and look, I stole one of their shirts, its a felony, but they didn't catch me. She sure as fuck pulls from her brown garbage bag, a orange and white shirt with the stripes going across, and words to some effect saying sacramento jail or something. I wanted to die. I was thinking, I just dont want everyone to think I am like her, that this is how my family is. I said what were you in jail for, and why are both of you lacing your shoes up? She says they take your laces out in jail and that she stole a bottle of booze (Jack Daniels) from the grocery store. She then places her leg on the counter and says look at what them bastards did to me. I am looking at what looks to be a swelled up snake bite, and she says they tazered me. She was proud of this. Good god people. (remember, no blood) I said why, and she says I headbutted one of the gaurds. Great. I say I have to go check on my customers and run to the back. I stayed back there for the longest time thinking she would leave or that something would happen to get me out of this situation. Marry came to me and said your sister wants you. Fuck, now she was talking to other co-workers and telling them I was her little brother and so forth. I wanted to cry, as well as die. My boss was dogging me so hard. Nice family, and they would laugh, I told them the story and and they still teased. To end this long ass story, I ended up giving her cash, she hung out my whole shift and I carted her around town, droping her off at a broke down truck that she lives in, with other drug addicts. I don't feel sorry for her one bit. Its sad but she is fucked up. And every once in a while, I get, yeah he is crazy, but have you seen his family. Fuck me.
Still looking forward to going out. I am not going to jinx myself by thinking something big is going to happen, but at the very least I know I will have fun. I have to say it once again, because I want everyone to know, I really do enjoy all the nice things people say to me in emails, the guestbook and the notes. I never in my life would have guessed people would want to hear me ramble. Where were you people when I went to highschool. You know from the time I was in the 9th grade until I graduated I didn't talk to anyone. It was because everyday of my school life, not only was I ashamed of being gay, people were so cruel. Fucking fag, homo, queer, die, and everything like that from so many people. I swear I thought the world hated me. this wasn't just every now and then, it was all the time. I couldn't tell anyone. So many times I wanted to kick someones ass, but then what? Get suspended for fighting. Then I would have to say what I was fighting for. My biggest fear in my life, was that my parents would find out I was gay. I would have my mom drop me off as far down as I could, because I was afraid one day she would hear these comments. It was pure hell. I mean it fucked with my head bad. Thats why when I am teaching in a classroom, no matter what the grade, be it first or eleventh, I will not allow anyone putting anyone down for anything. I stop the class right there and set things straight. I want no one in this whole world to ever feel like I did back then. Maybe that is why I talk so much now, to make up for all those damn years I kept my mouth shut. Anyway, enough of that talk. ohhh good news, good news, two homos moved into the building. Alvies' new goal, to make friends, and see them naked. Ha ha just joking, well maybe.
On a final note, if you don't have something nice to say about someone, come sit by me and lets talk about them.....Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07