Dear God it's me Alvie
6:14 p.m. on 2003-02-12
Ok, so this is my first entry and I am wondering what in the hell I should put in here. I have so much to say but then again I don't want to bore the hell out of anyone. Well first lets just get to the introduction of myself. I am gay. There that is done and over with. It's always the hardest thing for me to say, so I will get it out of the way and save anyone from having to ask. I came out about a year and a half ago, and I can honestly say it was the best decision I have ever made. Life is much less complicated now. Let's see, I am single and I am sure that I am going to remain that way. Not that I want to, but damn I am so shy. I live about three blocks from a couple of gay bars/clubs, so you would think that I would go down and mingle once in a while don't ya? Nope, not me. I am locked up in my appartment here hoping that Mr. Right, hell at this point, Mr. Half Right will knock on my door and wisk me away. I have been down to the club a couple of times with my sister,(who is not gay)but I am so painfully shy, that I avoid conversation or for that matter eye contact like its gonna get me pregnant. Good Lord I am hopeless. I am I have to say though, a very nice person, have a kind heart and I love people. Has this turned into one of those personal ads that I look at and think my god will I be on here doing this too? Well, I substituted today for a first grade class, let me tell you, I love kids, but this class was hell. The teacher didn't even have anykind of class rules or get this no seating chart. They just went where ever they wanted whenever. I brought along lots of candy and bribed them into doing work and made a quick escape as soon as the bell struck 2:37. I enjoy the 3-6th graders a lot better. I am sure that I will be saying much more and make a lot more sense in future writings. I am almost done with my credential classes, so I should get my own class by next year. I will still take college courses,(only three more to go) so I can get my MA in education. Off the topic, I wish I would have never signed a lease here at the appartment, which I like to refer to as the San Francisco style flat. Not because I don't love the place, I do, it's huge, but I just in all honesty can't afford it, along with my other bills while attending school. The rent here is $820 for a one bedroom. Is that too high? Well, I am here for the next 5 months. I would love to make some gay friends. You know, I havn't got any real gay male friends. I seem to make lots of female friends, even lezbos, but not gay males. I think in all honesty, they intimidate me. Seems like they always have their stuff together, and I don't feel that way. The one place that I am not out is at school. I have met some nice people there, but its kind of like a private college, and most of the people seem so religious, I fear they will avoid me once they find out. I am sure they have thier little wonders, but no one has asked me, and I talk to a lot of them. Well, I better shut up for now, I don't want to put you to sleep. Please just say hi, or read your diary, or you suck, but say somehting to me so I know that someone in this world read this. Off to spaghetti factory. Alvie
the latest:
Higher than the birds - 2003-10-21
friend trouble - 2003-10-14
Its just another cut day - 2003-10-10
hello, are you home - 2003-10-07
cumming soon - 2003-08-07